Dear Sir Porcupine, (or perhaps I should call you Madam Porcupine)--
Kindly refrain from eating my Hemlock Tree.
Last winter, I did not complain when you spent most of your time lounging in my tree.
I didn't even complain when I watched you throw branch after branch down to your friends (the deer) below. I understand completely that Hemlock is your favorite food, and that porcupines and whitetail need a meal just as much as we all do.
I admit that I was extremely annoyed at you this past spring as I raked up the branches of half of my Hemlock Tree and carted them off to the burn pile. It is true, you may have heard me muttering to myself about all the extra work you caused me, and how unsightly you have made my yard and my Hemlock Tree.
In spite of everything, I defended your existence to my neighbor, who has shot your kin in cold blood, and advised me to dispose of you in the same fashion.
I thought you would get the idea that you should move on when I constructed a blockade around my Hemlock tree. Your blatant disregard for my protective measures indicates that you do not realize that I mean business. I will not let you kill my Hemlock Tree.
btw, I am not afraid of your quills.
I work with fiber and I have a few sharp bits of my own..see?
(Not that I would ever use them on you.... I just want to make a point, ahem.)
In closing, I appreciate all the photos and the quills that you have donated to my art projects. I will miss seeing your silhouette against the sky, the funny way you use your tail to climb the trees and your adorable round button eyes.
But I love my Hemlocks as much as you do--and it is time for you to go. There are other Hemlock Trees in the forest. I suggest you chew on one of those and do not return to this one.
signed, caretaker of your favorite pair of Hemlocks near the ledges by the riverrim